Messy Love

Maundy Thursday

Here is the source of every sacrament,

The all-transforming presence of the Lord,

Replenishing our every element

Remaking us in his creative Word.

For here the earth herself gives bread and wine,

The air delights to bear his Spirit’s speech,

The fire dances where the candles shine,

The waters cleanse us with His gentle touch.

And here He shows the full extent of love

To us whose love is always incomplete,

In vain we search the heavens high above,

The God of love is kneeling at our feet.

Though we betray Him, though it is the night.

He meets us here and loves us into light.

                Malcolm Guite

It’s the day of the Last Supper. The day of betrayal. The day of tears in a dark garden. It’s the day before Jesus’ death. On this day, Jesus gives his body and blood. He knew he was going to die. Holy Week is not for the faint of heart.

Today, we remember some of Jesus’ most poignant acts at the very end of his life. He washed the feet of his disciples. And then he ate his last meal of bread and wine, saying, “Remember me.”

What will your last days be like? Will you take care of others the way Jesus took care of his disciples? Will you practice some act of humility? Have you loved your neighbor as yourself?

Humility and service to others is the best expression of love. It’s easy to sit in your ivory tower, picking and choosing tasks that you think are important, respected, or alluring. But Jesus chose the lowliest of tasks, usually left to servants. He was a leader and a teacher and he was not only willing, but prepared himself to do this service to his people. Even Judas, his own betrayer, felt Jesus’ gentle touch on his feet.

Life is messy sometimes, isn’t it? We pray the Lord’s Prayer – “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” I have a hard time with this… I say I forgive, but in my heart of hearts, I’m not sure if I really do. Or better, when I am pretty sure forgiveness has been granted, but then I think about the situation or person again, and feel that resentment and bitterness bubble up. Could I wash Judas’ feet? Could you? Jesus forgave Judas. Before the betrayal even happened! Loved him enough to wash him, knowing full well what was about to unfold.

If we’re to follow Jesus, we MUST be humble and love one another! It doesn’t have to be perfect; we don’t have to live in complete harmony. But love does have to be real and honest, even if it is messy. Love is complex, hard, blood, sweat, and tears. True love is scary and tedious.

I wonder what Jesus felt as he practiced love out loud that night. Was he afraid for (or of) Judas? Did he shed tears, seeing Peter’s tears to come? Was he completely at peace, knowing his destiny, and that in the end everything was going to be all right? Did he recall moments of tenderness and laughter and openness with his friends? Did Jesus really, truly know that by bleeding on the cross the next day, that his love would unfold millions of times over, thousands of years later? Heady stuff.

Love God, love people. Simple as that.

May you rest in love today.