What the Atheist Taught Me About Evangelism

We’re getting close to wrapping up our Unbinding the Heart series. We’ve prayed individually and collectively, we’ve talked about our faith and individual spiritual journey’s, we’ve become passionate about not having barriers for people who encounter our community.  In direct and indirect ways, we have talked about evangelization.

The problem with the “e-word” [e-bomb?] is, of course, that it’s heard as a synonym for “hectoring, finger wagging and a holier than thou attitude” as Chris Stedman, the author of Faithiest: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious.

But wait!, we say. That’s not who we are. We’re learning that it is really just telling our story -- telling how being a follower of Jesus has changed our life.  As Pastor Mark noted in his sermon last Sunday, we cannot force anyone to become Christian – and that’s not even our job. That’s the job of the Spirit working within them. Our job is just to talk with them – broken human to broken human. By doing that, the Spirit can use our words to touch their heart.

I often read blogs by atheist writers because I’ve found they hold some good insights. This past week, Chris Stedman had one of his blogs on the HuffPost. In it he gives "6 Tips for Christians on Talking to Non-Christians". I might add, these are good tips for talking to other Christians as well. They quickly fall into line with what we’ve been discovering in our prayer and readings over the past few weeks, so I wanted to relate them here with a few thoughts of my own.

    1)   Don’t Stereotype. Tired of Christians being stereotyped as judgmental? We are quick to see the “sins” of someone else and not to see our own. As humans, we are also prone to believing that whatever we believe is “Better” than what anyone else believes. As the blog states “ it’s important to be patient and compassionate… and allow people to speak for and define themselves”

    2)   Don’t try to “win” the argument.  An argument never accomplishes anything because it’s about a matter of belief [see #1]. Beliefs only change when it comes from within.

    3)   Speak for yourself. AKA be authentic. Speak the truth as it helps you live your life. Don’t pretend to speak for all Christians.

   4)   Highlight the diversity among Christians. Not all Christians believe the same way about political or social issues. Christianity is the ultimate “big tent” under which we can all abide – and that’s a GOOD thing. See #1, again. A little humility about our own beliefs is a good thing.  A lot of humility about them is better. We’re all learning how to try to be the best conduit of God’s grace we can be.

  5)   Don’t try to force others to live by a certain moral code. Your moral code works for you at this point in your spiritual journey. I’ll bet your moral code has changed over time – mine has. Everyone hears the Spirit talking in different ways and at different times.

     6)   Talk – and listen – to people about more than just their salvation status. As Chris notes, “what if evangelization is itself a mutually enriching dialogue in which the promises of the Church (that is, of Christ) are put forward as proposals, as encounters, not as edicts?” Wow. That could be right out of our readings.

There’s a certain irony here in being told how to be an effective evangelist by an atheist. The Spirit speaks in many ways, in many languages, and in the words and actions of many people.

Lord let your Spirit speak through our words, our actions and in the quiet of our hearts.

Paul S.

Unbinding Data

[Tune in]

Heart-Un-Bound                       Sculpture by Michael Young

One of the exercises in the Unbinding Series is to interview someone who does not attend church to find out their attitudes toward church, being invited to church, and whether or not they’ve had experiences they would self describe as spiritual. I took a larger sample from my Facebook friends list to see if there were any trends that could be teased out and how we might respond to those trends.

  

  Question 1 asks about what a person’s first thoughts are when they hear the word church. Half hold negative or highly negative views of “Church”. The common responses were: judgmental, hypocritical, narrow-minded, intolerant. About a third held neutral views seeing value in the building, the role of non-profits and ritual. About half also held some positive views as well – community, family, singing/music, cookies. Interesting to note was that a significant portion held negative and positive views simultaneously.

    Question 2 asked about invitations to church. Virtually everyone had been invited at some point in their lives. Over 90% reported that the invitation was a positive experience even though they may not have availed themselves of the opportunity. They felt included, liked, honored by the invitation even though they may have been wary. Sadly, of those that went only 1 in 5 had a “good experience”. 80% reported being turned off by either the people at the church or by the message which upheld their negative views.

   Question 3 asked if they had ever had a sense of the divine /God communicating with them. 75% or more were unequivocal in “Yes!” Of these, people were split almost equally as reporting that the experience was internal ( connecting with the “God Within”) or external ( nature, energy field, etc).

    Question 4 asked if there was one question you could ask God and be assured of an answer, what would it be. About a quarter had a personal question about heaven/afterlife, about a quarter wanted to know what religion was “right”, 30% wanted to know why bad things happened or why there are bad people.

    Question 5 asked if there was something they would like prayed for and the answers were evenly split between: No, Global betterment of some kind, personal request for themselves or someone close to them.

This was by no means a scientific sample and the fact that these were all friends of mine may be a skewing factor.  ;)

But there were some things I gleaned from the answers and the experience.

1)   We are a community of people. We don’t have it all together any more than any other group. If we are to invite people into our community we need to make sure we aren’t pretending to be something we’re not and let our armor down so we can welcome, strengthen and support everyone who walks in our doors. We need to pray that we see each and every person is worthy of love and respect no matter where they are in their own journey.

2)   We need to keep asking people to come. They like it! Then we need to follow through and show them that we have the courage to imperfect, that we have compassion for them and others, that we are open, vulnerable and authentic. That we love one another just as we are.

3)   We need to tell them our story, not just listen to theirs. We have experiences of God that are mysteries to us too. The Middle English root for conversation means to abide with or dwell with. When we are open and share, they will too.

4)   We need to let them know that we all have questions we don’t have answers for. That this is a place where we can search together, where we can grow in faith, where we enjoy the process of searching and learning. To quote Brene’ Brown, one of my favorite writers “ …cultivating a whole-hearted life is not like trying to reach a destination. It’s like walking toward a star in the sky. We never really arrive, but we certainly know we’re heading in the right direction.”

5)   We need to share how prayer has worked and hasn’t worked the way we wanted it to. That there is no one right way to pray. That prayer is still a mystery to us. That prayer changes us. That we just do it.

      Lord, Listen to your children praying. Send your Spirit in this place. Send us Love, send us power, send us grace. 

     Amen.

      Paul S

An Unbinding Coincidence

(Editor’s note: English Lutheran Church is in the second week of our small group experience of “Unbinding Your Heart.” Groups meet weekly and members are encouraged to meet with a prayer partner from that group.)

I met with my prayer partner for the first time last night. Part of me was excited. Most of me was nervous and scared. I’ve known “of” my prayer partner and have had a few interactions throughout the years. Most of them surface conversations where we’ve attended the same event, seen each other on Sundays or had other church business to conduct. I knew for sure, being a second-time participant, that I would connect with my prayer partner… but never in a million years did I know that it would happen in the blink of an eye.

The second chapter of Unbinding Your Heart mentions “coincidence.” In the second story, there is a pastor and his wife that attend a week-long training event. He went to the leadership events; his wife signed up for prayer workshops. She helped change their whole congregation. People were praying more – they even had “Prayer Walkers” that would roam during events like Vacation Bible School and a Halloween party. When the author of the book asked this particular pastor how prayer had changed his church, he said “The spirit of the church is different. There are ‘coincidences’ that I know are answered prayer.”

Coincidence, huh? Our group drew names to pair up with our prayer partners. On the surface, it looks like pure happenstance. Luck of the draw. But was it really? After meeting with my partner for the first time, I am seriously having a hard time believing that. Maybe all of these things that we think are “chance” is really God trying to speak to us, to help us open our hearts to a bigger picture.

My prayer partner and I shared stories last night that are so similar, it’s almost scary. We both had past relationships that were not healthy – with issues like depression and substance abuse. We both stuck out the relationships with the hope that something better would come out of it. We both ended those relationships with a God moment – but while mine was a true, startling “What are you doing? End this!” voice from God, hers was more quiet and in the rough. Coincidence? Probably not. We both realized that God was truly with us as those relationships ended. And we both looked at each other, sort of shaking our heads. I don’t think it was a fluke. I can’t speak for her, but I think she’d agree: God placed us together for a reason. We shared our stories. We shared what touched us from the book. We shared which prayer journal exercises were meaningful to us. We talked about knowing the light in the darkness and how He was there through our darkest moments, whether we liked it or not (Psalm 139). We prayed. Out loud. For each other. And promised to keep each other lifted throughout the next week. It's an amazing feeling to draw someone into your personal faith life with you.

Sharing is caring, in the words of my elementary-aged son. Sharing is also downright terrifying. You’re thrown into these groups. You might not know a single soul there. You might at least be able to place a name with a face. Maybe your best friend is in your group. My two experiences in this whole Unbinding event were that you were allowed to participate however you felt comfortable. It becomes an intimate group right from the start. There is a certain amount of trust and courage that comes with Unbinding Your Heart, both figuratively and literally speaking. Your heart WILL unbind… you’ll find yourself praying more, not only for yourself, but for those around you, the whole church, the whole WORLD. That is not a coincidence; that is God lovingly inviting you to a more personal relationship with Him. And that relationship is what will shine through you, to bring others to a life in Christ.

My prayer for this week is simple: Lord, I ask that you gather us all into your loving arms. Help us to unbind our hearts, to share and pray with and for each other. Keep us aware that all coincidences have your hand in them, no matter how small. Thank you for walking with us, through each day and night, keeping us embraced in your Spirit. Amen.

~Jen

What Will You Claim This Lent Season?

God's Love For You

When I began this blog earlier this week, my intent was to write about prayer. Within the content of my writing, it didn’t seem I was sharing anything new beyond the reflections of our recent blogs…..so I decided to begin again. In stepping back for a few days to reflect on our church’s and my own Lenten journey, the following question came to mind, ‘What will You and I claim this Lent Season?.

I realize this is not the usual question many of us think of during Lent.  It’s more often something like. “What will you or I give up? Sweets?  TV?  An hour or day of this or that?. Maybe our morning cup of Starbucks? 

In the midst of our busy, sometimes overcrowded days and weeks, what would you or I choose to claim during these 40 days….and perhaps even beyond? I hope you'll stay with me in this. 

What if during this 40 day Lenten journey (fewer than 40 by now), each of us intently 'claim our faith'.

What if we focused in on what we truly believe, wherever we are in our faith journeys, and stated it out loud. Maybe first to ourselves, and then to another. My guess is right now you are thinking one of several things.  

1) My faith is a private affair.  

2) I’m not completely sure what I believe.  

3) I don’t know how to talk about my faith and I don’t want to sound stupid. 

4) I’ve been going church all my life, why do I need to talk about my faith to myself or anyone else?  

5) I don’t want to sound like I’m boasting or judgmental.  

6) What if I offend someone….especially someone I care about.  

7) I am a Christian so people should already know what I believe.  
8) I need to think about this.  

Or, maybe you are at a place in your life where you are comfortable talking about your faith. 

There is no measuring yardstick here. Unless we have reached the state of perfection (NOT), we are all on a journey of deepening and growing in our faith.

And yes, there may be risk involved, both for ourselves and our relationships, Because stating out loud what we truly believe might cause us to look at how we live in community somewhat differently. Sharing our faith journeys with others could lead to further exploring our thoughts, our questions, our doubts, our hopes, our insights and perspectives. It could even lead to deepening and broadening our faith community!

Claiming our faith, in whatever state our own journey is, would mean we are willing to venture out in the midst of our fears, shyness, awkwardness, and privacy; and begin sharing what each of us believes. Even if this means beginning by stating our faith to just one person we fully trust.

To do this we first need to be able to clearly tell ourselves what we believe, and where we stand in our faith. I realize there can be one or two stumbling blocks to clearly naming and claiming our faith.

    We are creatures of habit, and taking the time to personally reflect on and define one’s faith may not be  something we have consciously focused on.

    We may have questions and doubts, so how can/does one claim their faith, when they don’t have all the answers.

    We want to be tolerant and not think we know the ‘only way’ to a relationship with God.

    We have not felt safe in personally thinking about our faith.

    We don’t have a faith statement or don't know where to start.

Have I touched on the main blocks? If I omitted yours, please just add it on.

Claiming one’s faith is not about having all the answers. Nor is it about writing or speaking your perfect faith statement. Each of us is on a journey during this lifetime, and as we live, our lens and/or understanding may change, broaden, deepen, become clearer…..any or all of these. 

Having and Claiming Your Faith is about knowing where you stand spiritually, where your roots are planted, and what gives you hope. Some thoughts for your consideration.....

When you come to Worship, take notes mentally or in writing on what touches you and/or what leaves you with questions. Find a way to reflect on, share or research your thoughts.

Pray….There’s that word again.  Don’t know where to start. No perfect place, time or words needed. Just start talking with God….anywhere. In time you will develop your own rituals and habits for prayer. Talking and listening to God is a good thing. You may be surprised where your conversations go.  Still not sure how to begin?  Here are some suggestions: 

*  “Lord have mercy on me” Try repeating this and see what happens”.

*  Find a place where you are not easily distracted: a quiet corner or walk outdoors.

*  Get together with a friend and share your concerns.

*  Let go of expectations and the need to pray perfectly.

*  Start a prayer journal where you write down your thoughts, questions, experiences, and your hopes. This is your 'treasure faith chest/quest'. The only editor is you.

*  Read and explore the Scriptures. Check the library, community resources, your friends for reading recommendations. There is a world of rich resources to glean. Spend time each day reading, reflecting, listening to music, centered in that which helps ground your faith.

Why not join or start a Small Group, where you can gather with others to study, explore, reflect, question, challenge and delve into the tenants of your faith. You will gain far more than what you anticipate risking.

When Jesus went into the desert for 40 days, he was Claiming His Faith. He was clearing the cobwebs of everyday life from his mind, turning away from outward distractions, and spending time in conversation with God. Why? To deepen and strengthen the focus of his relationship with God.

Many of us tend to reflect on our faith when we experience crisis, tragedy or joy. It’s so very easy to lose track of where our faith is grounded and how our faith is growing or not during the 'ordinary days' of our lives. Yet our Faith is the Compass for our Lives.

During this Lenten time, I invite you to reflect on where your faith is centered, so that you can say out loud even to yourself what you believe and why you believe what you do. This is how you begin to claim your Faith. When you are ready, I invite you to share this with at least one other person.

You may be pleasantly surprised by the conversations which open up. And if your faith statement has questions, this is okay, as long as you are open to exploring these questions. Exploring, learning, discussing and praying can liven your faith quest.

At the beginning of each new year, how often do we hear about or make new year resolutions which tend to have short life spans? Claiming, nurturing and deepening your faith can be a lifelong resolution which strengthens every area of your life. It is a resolution to grow on and in.

The God who formed you will help you in your journey of claiming your faith.

Shalom,
Susan

           

Unbinding Prayer

Throughout the Unbinding the Gospel process, I began to re-frame or look with new eyes on a number of things - prayer being one, sacrifice being another. 

Sacrifice is a dirty word.  It has been bandied about in the political arena so often as to lose its original meaning. To sacrifice is to give something for the sake of a better cause. It has been twisted to mean that you are forced to relinquish something that is yours. This misunderstanding is timeless however – even Socrates tried to frame sacrifice as a system of bartering between man and the gods.

Sacrifice is a gift. As parents, we sacrifice time, money, and our own desires often for the sake of our children. We give (and we give gladly!) because we believe in the value of our children and are willing to give of what we possess.  Sacrifice is about relationship and what we believe as having value.

Prayer too is about relationship and what we believe as having value.  At its most basic, prayer is a sacrifice of time out of your day to maintain a relationship with God.[“I don’t have time, and besides I don’t think prayer ‘works’”] Prayer is often portrayed merely as a way to influence “outcomes” – and, not surprisingly, they are usually outcomes that are in our personal favor. [“ O Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz” or “Lord, help me lose 20 pounds”] If we re-frame the idea of prayer as a way of remaining or even growing in a relationship, prayer changes. It becomes about sharing what concerns us, what weighs on our hearts and minds (just as you might do with a close friend or relative) and then listening. [“Oh, maybe I should start an exercise plan and then ask God to give me the strength to stick to it?”]  In the listening is often found a sacrifice. [Oh, if I give up my 2-Starbucks-a-day habit, I could actually afford____?] 

In the Old Testament, the making of a sacrifice - usually an animal or other symbol of one’s wealth, often preceded the act of prayer. The implication was that you were serious enough in your supplication to first make a sacrifice of something. Note that the sacrifice came first.

So what am I willing to sacrifice?

If I pray for improved financial situation, have I first done what I can and have I sought out professional advice to make the best decisions with what I have?

If I pray for an improved relationship with someone, have I first acknowledged my part in how the relationship went awry?

If I pray for more civility in society, have I first stopped posting uncivil comments and pictures on my Facebook page? ;)

But prayer is more than just time spent reflecting on our personal choices. Prayer can be the way that we make sense of the split/tension between our daily life and our faith life. If we want to be God’s hands at work in the world, we need to ask God what he wants us to do it - there’s prayer.  And how we do it - there’s sacrifice. Because it’s not about us then, it’s about God. We sacrifice our ego, our desires, our whims for God’s purpose. This doesn’t mean that we all chuck everything to become missionaries in some far-off place. It does mean that we set aside the behaviors that separate us from others, that we prayerfully consider the priorities of how we “spend” the gifts of time, talents and treasure we have been given, and that we speak of God’s grace and mercy and how they play out in our lives. As David Lose said in a recent blog, “ prayer is also a way of attuning ourselves to God and our shared life”.

God, tune us to be instruments of your grace in our world. Amen

Paul S.

A Revival with Jesus

I'll admit... when I was asked to participate in the first groups of Unbinding, I was skeptical. I haven't participated in a group study since I was a wee confirmand, 15+ years ago. I'm deeply protective of my personal life. I don’t make new friends easily. I don't pray out loud - in front of people! And.... I was ashamed. My understanding was this experience would take my prayer life to a whole new level. Before this group, my prayer life consisted of what I think of as "drive-thru" prayers. Sending up a quick plea for safety as sirens go by. The Lord's Prayer with my son before bed. Spending two minutes during church running the list of things I needed to confess. Quick prayers around the dinner table. Yes, once in a while, I'd spend time with a book or other resource during Lent or Advent. But by and large, my daily prayer life was either nonexistent or what little was there was monotonous. I was more of a “THANK GOD!” and a “HELP ME, GOD!” type of pray-er. Only in those highs and lows did I spend REAL time with my Lord.

Did I like the book? Eh, it was all right. I struggled with the reading. I struggled with the prayer journal. I’m a 24/7 single mom and was disgruntled that I had to give up a night each week when we’re already busy. I didn’t have the time or the energy. I was terrified of having to share my life with people I barely knew. There were so many reasons NOT to participate. But there was this nudge from the Spirit. Even though I dug my heels in, when push came to shove, I said yes.

And I haven’t been sorry. Not once. Yes, it was hard - on so many levels. But everything I struggled against became the very things I came to embrace. I shared my struggles and dreams. I made new friends. Although our lives don’t allow us to stay in touch like we’d prefer (we're all busy parents), I know I can call on them and pick up where we left off. I made it a point to try to do the daily prayer journal, even if it was just being cognizant of the fact that I was spending an intentional two minutes with God (at a stop light, in the shower, while doing dishes). And yes, I prayed. Out loud! And felt comfortable doing so, even though I was not nearly as eloquent as others in my group.

Yes, this book is largely about evangelism. That’s scary to some, including myself. Merriam Webster defines evangelism as “the winning or revival of personal commitments to Christ.” Say what? When you think about it… how do you evangelize? As Lutherans, we don’t typically go knocking down someone’s door. (That makes me laugh, thinking of one of Paul’s blogs – “Have you invited JEEEEESUS into your heart?”) We Lutherans don’t comfortably pray with one another, we don’t wave our arms in the air. We chat over coffee, our kids sporting games, or lunch with a dear friend we graduated with 30 years ago. We fellowship. That’s what we’re good at. In those mundane, everyday conversations can come a spark. And if you can’t be open about your own faith life, how do you invite others to do the same? Because that’s what evangelism IS: inviting others to a life in Christ. Here at ELC we’re good at the “Our church is so great! You should come sometime!” But as individuals, are we great at having those open, honest and sometimes scary conversations about faith? Have you ever told someone "Yes, I'm a Christian and no, I don't have all the answers?" Christianity is scary to some people. By admitting that we are not perfect, that we don't know everything, that we sin daily just as others do... those are the quiet admissions that can give someone the encouragement they need to know Jesus on a personal level, rather than hitting them over the head with it.

I can be a bit close-minded. This group and study has opened my heart and my mind in ways I never dreamed possible. I’m constantly thinking of prayer. How can I pray for others? How do I not feel selfish praying for myself? When should I pray? I am embracing it and dialoguing with God on a daily basis, even if I’m still a bit disgruntled about it. I’m not teaching my son to merely memorize the Lord’s Prayer – I’m teaching him to talk to God. I find myself signing up for online devotionals and perusing the bookshelves at the library. I’ve taken on a prayer partner relationship with two dear friends. I've had so many conversations with folks about faith in the last few months. I'm an evangelist. (Gasp!) And I could not feel better, spiritually, than I do today.

My prayer for this congregation is that others can have the same experience I did. A “revival” with Jesus, if you will. I feel ridiculous, over the top, filled with love and the Spirit. The Spirit will shine through to others…. And that is what makes me an evangelist. (Yep, it’s still scary to own that title.)

~Jen

Unbinding Your Heart

Happy 2013 to all of you. It is exciting to start fresh and to think of the possibilities a new year can hold. This year I am particularly excited because of the congregation-wide small group experience English Lutheran is going to be doing through the six weeks of Lent. Unbinding Your Heart is a book that guides individuals and groups through a series of different kinds of prayer and ways to think about prayer. The book is more of a guide and conversation starter, not the substance of the experience. So whether you end up liking the book or not (I did not) the experience is the substance and the benefit. There are many ways this experience improved my life. 

Getting to know seven people in our congregation really well was one of those big improvements in my life. Going to church on Sunday, I now look for them and hope to have time to share with them. Life has so much meaning when we have people who care about us and we care about others. In a busy world, it can be difficult to forge these kinds of relationships. A small group experience like this creates the perfect atmosphere for such relationships to develop, which will feed your life for the duration of your new friendships. In addition, these new friendships are based on your relationship with God. You are free to talk about anything. 

Another great outcome of the Unbinding Your Heart small group is the new practice of having a prayer partner. It seemed kind of scary at first and a bit uncomfortable, but it turns out it is exactly opposite. Prayer partners give comfort and support and help to create a sense of calm even when things weren't great. To have a new person outside of my regular circle pray and care for me while I pray and care for them added a depth of warmth that is hard to quantify. I hope for everyone in our congregation and friends who choose to join as well to have this same experience. 

Beyond the relationship benefits, my spiritual life also blossomed. Even when I was bitter and did not do exercises or grumbled about the book, I still told God all about it. He got an earful! Despite my bad attitude, he softened my heart, opened my eyes, and gave me peace. Prayer comes much more often in new and different ways and in a more connected fashion. Life just feels different in a really good way. Everything is a bit brighter. Coming from someone who started off bitter... this is really good news. 

I hope that everyone who has a chance to be a part of the Unbinding Your Heart series, or any other small group experience based on prayer (for those who are reading this and are far away from La Crosse, WI) takes the chance and joins. Even if you are feeling bitter about it, God works in amazing ways and can work wonders in all of us, no matter our situation. 

May God bless you, guide you, and comfort you in the days to come. 

Eva Marie 

Editor's Note: Our blog will focus on Unbinding Your Heart through Lent. Please be sure to check back often and/or sign up for our feeds! We encourage you to take part in the conversation - leave comments and participate in the conversation that unfolds.